Yesterday baby girl come home with a scratch on her eye from another child accidentally scratching her. The whole incident was explained by the daycare and handled well. But I still was upset. First, I wanted to be mad at the daycare or the caregiver or the other child. Then I realized I was mad because I wasn't there to protect my baby.
Isn't that what most parents want to do? To shield their kids from every single hurt and all harm.
But it's not possible. And even if it was, what good would it do for our children?
Even in childhood, they need to learn now to deal with pain and disappointment. This year, there's a girl in my son's 4th grade class who cried every morning at drop off for the first two months. I kept wondering why a 9-year-old child would still be crying over something as mundane as school drop off. That's the kind of behavior you'd expect from a baby. Then, it made me wonder if her parents haven't equipped her to deal with hard situations or painful stuff. Makes me wonder if I'm crippling my children in any way.
My hope for my children is for them to be resilient and able to bounce back. Set backs in life can knock the wind out of you, but you don't have to let them keep you down and I surely hope that's mirrored in our home for these little ones we are raising.
Earlier this month, I had an incident with a co-worker where work I needed wasn't delivered on time because they were dealing with some personal issues. Very weighty personal issues. We all have had them or will have them if we haven't already.
To see her buckle under the weight of it all and not even be able to perform at a standard she's used to was heartbreaking. Whatever is hurting her is so debilitating that she can't find the strength to fight back and keep her life in motion.
Now don't get me wrong. We all need a time and place to sit and cry it out or scream it out or whatever the case. We need time to grieve whatever pain we've been through. Then comes the time when you dust yourself off and try again. You CAN dust yourself off and try again.
While I love my babies, I certainly don't want to cripple them by over-sheltering them to the point where they can't cope when life is hard or something hurts them.
What are some ways you are helping your kids to be resilient?