Aging is a crazy thing. Lately, I've been finding myself saying, "I don't do that anymore" to a myriad of things like: riding roller coasters, wearing shorts & bathing suits, and other ridiculous things.
Yesterday, we spent the day at Newport Beach. I usually wear a casual summer dress or a tank top and capri-like pants...but I stepped out of my fear box and wore a bathing suit (one that I've had for years with the tags still on it). And tried my hand at boogie boarding. I had set up in my mind that I was too old, too pudgy, too (fill in the blank) to do such things. I'm trying to figure out when I put myself in a box. I guess that doesn't matter much. What's most important is that I work on getting out.
I never really thought I'd be like this at my age. When I was younger, I was more apt to take risks and just do things afraid. I was the girl who went to college clear across the country, then packed up my bags and moved to Los Angeles. The girl who would attend movie premieres alone without fear or insecurity. The girl who would jump in her car and drive until I got lost and then explore the city (and this all without GPS).
Somewhere along the way I fell into this mommy mode. I found myself sitting on the sidelines watching my kids do things and rooting them on instead of participating. Yesterday, was a good example for me that age and mommyhood and a bigger waistline don't have to make me feel like I'm just relegated to the sidelines. No, I'm not a size 6 anymore and no I don't have the desire to ride the scariest roller coasters all day, but that doesn't mean every falls into the "I can't category." It felt good to put on my I-will-try-it hat. My kids weren't concerned that their mom didn't look like a supermodel. Instead, they'll remember me running along the beach with them, throwing a frisbee and just being involved with them.
Maybe you have put yourself (or parts of yourself) in an altogether different box. Perhaps you're in a geographic box or a financial box or a cultural box. It's never to let to break out....even if it's a small step like getting on that boogie board and at least trying.